An Excerpt. A Heavy Heart.

Looking Back: August 1st, 2006

"I know for sure he was wearing his carhartts and Fifteen hat. I remember letting him in the house. I remember randomly picking out a movie with him in the basement. One that we agreed to watch even though we were both hesitant wanting to do so. I remember awkwardly sitting next to him, both of us moving little by little trying to get closer. Then my head meeting his shoulder. Cracking jokes on how every single celebrity known to man was showing up in the movie.

I remember how his hand felt running threw my hair as my head lay in his lap. Myself nodding off to sleep as we sit on the loveseat that we dragged from the other side of the room, so we wouldn’t have to sit in separate chairs. He caught me before I fell asleep, told me he was going to go home. I held on to him, hoping that if I held on to him hard enough he wouldn’t be able to leave. Obviously he could. We got up. I turned off the TV and surround sound and met him in the middle of the room. We embraced. It made my knees weak, I had an over powering feeling of vulnerability and calmness come over me. Something I hadn’t felt with anyone else. And it was at that exact moment, I fell hard. The next thing I know I was looking up at him and seconds later his pierced lips met mine."